The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
