She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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