Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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