I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
