I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
