this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
