2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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