Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
