butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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