So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
