and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
