i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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