apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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