oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When are your genitals available?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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