Do you still have your period?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
