**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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