if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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