doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
