sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
sex in a hospital.. check
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
