I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
