Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
50% drunk capacity currently
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
