they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
