Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
