I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Non-Jews are for practice
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
PANTIES FOUND
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
