just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
