Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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