Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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