But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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