Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
