I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
