I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
