This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Bring me that man meat
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
