did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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