Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Randomize
