So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
