i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
