All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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