Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
