she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
