So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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