And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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