Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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