I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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