No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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