she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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