OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
