She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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