haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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