thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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