He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
