Small penises have feelings too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
