SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
