Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
