i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
